Take a deep breath. I know money is scary. And the reality is, for many LGBTQ+ couples, the journey to parenthood involves unique financial considerations, particularly when it comes to fertility treatments, sperm and egg donation, and surrogacy. This guide will help you understand the costs involved and provide strategies for budgeting and saving for your family’s future. You can do this.

Understanding the Costs

1. Sperm Donation

Luckily, sperm donation is not as wildly expensive as egg donation, as sperm is much easier to produce and freeze than eggs.

• Average cost: $300 – $1,500 per vial
• Additional costs:
  • Insemination procedure: $200 – $400 per attempt
  • Storage fees: $200 – $600 per year

Note: At-home insemination kits like the Mosie Baby Kit can reduce costs, ranging from $90 – $130.

2. Egg Donation

For my husband and I, we realllllly shelled out on our Egg Donor (no pun intended!). We wanted someone we both felt really good about and who had a proven track record. Many agencies allow you to work with “proven donors” so you have more assurance in your odds of getting enough eggs in the process. We found our through Donor Nexus, but there are other great sites too, like Tulip, which can help give you the lay of the land.

• Average cost: $20,000 – $50,000
• Breakdown:
  • Donor compensation: $5,000 – $10,000
  • Agency fees: $5,000 – $8,000
  • Medical and psychological screening: $3,000 – $5,000
  • Legal fees: $1,000 – $2,000
  • IVF cycle: $10,000 – $15,000

3. Surrogacy

The relationship with a surrogate can be so incredibly special. There are amazing agencies out there that offer support in this process, but be warned — most have long waitlists! So be sure to budget both time AND money for this process.

• Average cost: $90,000 – $130,000
• Breakdown:
  • Surrogate compensation: $30,000 – $60,000
  • Agency fees: $15,000 – $30,000
  • Legal fees: $5,000 – $10,000
  • Medical expenses and IVF: $20,000 – $40,000
  • Miscellaneous expenses: $5,000 – $10,000

4. IVF (In Vitro Fertilization)

This is the cumulative cost of making the embryos and then implanting them. So there is a lot of variability here depending on the route you take. Every clinic can and should give you a clear financial outline of their process so there are no surprises. They can be a little cagey sometimes so don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself!

• Average cost per cycle: $12,000 – $17,000
• Additional costs:
  • Medications: $1,500 – $3,000
  • Genetic testing: $1,500 – $2,000

Budgeting Strategies

Are you panicking? BREATHE. It’s okay. You can get to where you need to be with hard work and some careful planning. Here are a few tips and resources to consider:

1. Start Early: Begin saving as soon as you start considering parenthood. Like, sell that designer shirt you’ve only worn twice and get that money in a high yield savings account!
2. Use Budgeting Tools: I am currently doing a deep dive comparing budgeting tools…we’ve been through a lot of them in our journey and the verdict is still out on what is the most user friendly for people who aren’t crypto-bros. Stay tuned.
3. Create a Dedicated Savings Account: Set up an account specifically for your family planning funds. See above. Go for a high yield account to maximize interest rates.
4. Automate Savings: Set up automatic transfers to your family planning savings account each payday.
5. Cut Unnecessary Expenses: Review your current spending and identify areas where you can cut back. This is a hard one, but trust me…you’ll be glad you did. We were trying to get pregnant for ages and when it finally happened we were like OH SHIT. MONEY.
6. Increase Income: Consider side gigs or asking for a raise to boost your savings rate. That’s part of why I’m doing some affiliate marketing on my blog! Earn extra money helping my community find the resources they need? Win win!
7. Explore Employer Benefits: Some companies offer fertility benefits or adoption assistance. Milk them for all they’re worth.

Financing Options

When it comes to financing your family planning journey, several options are available to help manage the substantial costs involved. Fertility-specific financing programs, such as those offered by CapexMD and New Life Fertility Finance, can provide tailored loans for various fertility treatments. For a more general approach, personal loans might be a good option – you can compare rates from multiple lenders on sites like Credible to find the best terms. Homeowners might consider tapping into their home equity through loans or lines of credit, which often offer lower interest rates than unsecured loans. For short-term financing, credit cards with 0% APR introductory offers can be useful, but it’s crucial to be mindful of potentially high interest rates after the promotional period ends. Lastly, crowdfunding platforms like GoFundMe have become increasingly popular, allowing friends and family to contribute directly to your family planning fund. Each of these options has its pros and cons, so it’s important to carefully consider your personal financial situation and consult with a financial advisor if needed before making a decision.

Useful Resources

• Dandelion: An AMAZING resource to learn about assisted fertility and egg freezing.
• Resolve: The National Infertility Association, offers support and resources.
• Family Equality Council: Provides information on family building for LGBTQ+ individuals.
• Men Having Babies: Offers guidance and financial assistance for gay men pursuing surrogacy.

Conclusion

Ok you made it to the end. Good job! While the costs associated with LGBTQ+ family planning can be significant, with careful planning, budgeting, and the right resources, you can make your dreams of parenthood a reality. Remember, every family’s journey is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to financing your family planning. Consider consulting with a financial advisor who has experience with LGBTQ+ family planning to create a personalized strategy for your situation.

Note: I earn from qualifying purchases made through the affiliate links in this post.